My research in general showed me that in Rama’s obedience to his duty to be an ideal man or ruler he had to reject Sita, because he could not rule the people with these rumors flying around. He had to be perfect. Again, throughout the Ramayana, Rama chooses the interests beyond himself and ordinary affairs. But did he not have an obligation to Sita? Our ideal man makes comes off cold and too rigid in his blind devotion to his perceived “duties”. Who mourns for Sita? Not Rama. Can you imagine Odysseus giving Penelope the boot?
Doniger explains Rama’s treatment of Sita is likely a reaction to Kaikeyi’s manipulation King Dasaratha. Doniger quotes Lakshmana “The King (Dasaratha) is perverse, old, and addicted to sex, driven by lust”. Rama says as much himself: “He’s an old man, and with me away he is so besotted by Kaikeyi that that he is completely in her power, and capable of doing anything. The King has lost his mind. I think sex (kama) is much more potent than either artha or dharma. For what man would give up a good son like me for the sake of a pretty woman?”
Doniger's reasoning continues “Rama, cares for Sita only as political pawn and an unassailably chaste wife (artha and dharma over kama). Rama thinks that sex is putting him in political danger (keeping his allegedly unchaste wife will make the people revolt).” So our ideal man must have an ideal wife to run his ideal kingdom.
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